So I’m talking about the term demon alcohol and what it means. It was first popularized by Ozzy in 1988 with his song “Demon Alcohol,” and I always wondered what he meant by that.
Ozzy himself was a huge alcoholic addict, and at one time he was peeing blood so he took his drugs and alcohol very seriously, and people laugh at him today because they can’t understand a word he says – and partly that is due to alcohol abuse and drug abuse, and let alone he has an English accent so it’s very hard to understand them.
But I want to get into other meanings. Alcohol in Arabic which means al-kuhl, which literally means body eating spirit. So when you drink alcohol, you’re literally opening up your receptors to become eaten, not only physically but spiritually, you’re lowering your vibration.
Now, the other use of alcohol is to extract essences from things, so they use that in essential oils they basically extract from lavender and from other different plants, and they put it in alcohol.
Alcohol is also a sterilizer, they sterilize medical tools with it. It also can kill the human body and brain. You can get cirrhosis of the liver, you can have a heart attack like I did from alcohol withdrawals, you can literally die from alcohol withdrawals, and it’s a progressive disease, so it keeps growing, even if you have bouts of sobriety.
I want to share a little personal story with you.
When I was 24, I was dating an older woman, and I was a heavy drinker. I was an alcoholic, and I used to get drunk with her every single day, three to five times a week I would get blacked out.
I had a lot of rage issues because I was still ignoring my parents they (kicked me out when I was 18) and so I gave them the silent treatment, because that was the only thing I knew how to get my parents back, but it was eating me alive.
And dating a woman twice my age was also eating me alive because there was something inside of me that really wanted to date women younger than me, but I just didn’t have enough self esteem to go after girls who were beautiful and young so I dated an older woman.
So, I was drinking a lot, and I was getting blacked out every night and every time I blacked out I would do things that I didn’t remember. I usually had friends tell me what I did.
So one day I woke up and she was crying and she told me that I had scared her, and I didn’t know what I did and I was very sorry and I said I wouldn’t do it again.
A few months later, I got really drunk and I went to look for her. And we lived above a restaurant, she worked at that restaurant, and I went downstairs to find her, and I was really drunk and couldn’t find her.
Later she came home and I basically attacked her and one minute I’m crying, you know, the real Erik steps in out of this blackout and I’m crying. And I’m like, I’m so sorry, I can’t believe I hurt you.
Then all of a sudden, something took over, and I started to laugh, and this is not me, and there’s no way I’m laughing. This is something that took over, and I remember this clearly, even though I was blacked out drunk, like, somehow I got my cognition back just for a moment.
So there was this Dr Jekyll Mr. Hyde type scenario playing out. The real Erik would come in and cry, and then this demon would enter and I would laugh.
The scariest part of this is what I was thinking when I was laughing. When the demon took over and I was laughing, I got very excited at the thought of taking her life. The demon inside of me was not affected at all at the idea of taking a human life, in fact it was very exciting that it could take this mere mortal’s life.
To the demon inside of me, human life was nothing, it was weak, it was manipulatable, you know, like, you can do anything you want to them. They’re weak, they’re gushy, they love things and they’re attracted to things and they like beauty and all this stuff right.
But the demon was like, I could easily kill you right now. I didn’t say that but I was thinking about it and I started to laugh, and then all of a sudden Erik came back in and pushed the demon out temporarily, and I was like, Oh, I’m so sorry I can’t believe I hurt you. I can’t believe I hurt you.
I did that three times, I cried, then laughed, cried and laughed and cried and laughed until she finally ran out of the house, and that’s when I went to go look for her again.
Then after that I was kicked out. I was homeless. I eventually went to Job Corps, I started to do the 12 step program and AA, and I really got my life back together.
However I relapsed, and years later my drinking was worse than ever, but I never had that demonic thing happen again, but I did have moments of it with my current fiance. I had a couple two day relapses in sobriety, a couple years into sobriety I had a couple relapses.
It just came in really fast. I was like, I want to drink. Let’s order it, you know, we’re at a Mexican restaurant, I was like I want tequila, and it was just impulsive and I drank got drunk and we’re staying in a hotel and I blacked out, and next thing I know I’m telling her I don’t love her, to get the f out. I don’t want to ever see her again.
And she said that my eyes were black, they turned black so you’ve probably heard of this before where the eyes turn black. If you ever see the show Intervention, it’s on TV, it’s usually on A&E, you should definitely check it out. I would watch at least a dozen shows, because you’ll see the before and after. You’ll see the before, when they’re still in their addiction, when they’re still drinking, it’s horrible. It’s ugly. Then you’ll see them after 60 days, normally, in sobriety.
You’ll see the light back in their eyes, you’ll see they got color in their skin. They’re smiling. You don’t see any of that when they’re using, when they’re deep in their addiction. Addiction is a lie and demon alcohol is very real.
Because when you drink you lower your vibration, you see that all over on the bar scene. Every Friday and Saturday night you will see people go into their lower base primal instincts. All they care about is eating food, having sex, and getting in fights.
You can see that every weekend at any, you know bar, almost, especially the bars in cities and the shady parts of town, you’ll see that play out all the time because alcohol is lowering your vibration, it’s lowering your intelligence and if you drink enough, you will have serious brain damage.
I know because I’ve hung out with people in my sobriety, that just, they were still drinking and I was talking to them at the gym and they were still getting drunk every night, I don’t even know why they were at a gym in the first place, they’re using the saunas, or maybe they’re trying to get all the alcohol out of their system.
But I could instantly tell that this man, he was about 20 years older than me, he was a heavy drinker. I could tell that he had a mind of maybe a 20 year old, but he was in a 60 year old body. I could tell I was smarter than he was because he had been drinking for 40 years of his life. I had only had 16 years of drinking.
So it literally stunts your brain, and if you drink hard enough or if you drug hard enough it will mentally stunt you. I know a lot of 40-50 year old people that have minds of 16 to 18 year olds.
I worked with a girl in the restaurant business, she was a prep cook and she was probably 45, but she acted like she was 16, she giggled. Her thoughts were just all over the place, craziness, like every night she had drama, and she would just talk about it all day long with us and it just bored us.
She was a gossip mill, you know, she just talks bad about people, you probably know people like this. And a lot of it’s due to alcohol – alcohol abuse and drug abuse.
So the last thing I want to talk about is some quick steps to get sober. The first thing you have to do is admit that you’re powerless over alcohol. Just look around. It’s not just viewing the alcohol, you’re affecting everyone around you, whether you know it or not.
Okay, you’re hurting your spouse, or your boyfriend or your girlfriend. You’re showing up late to work, if you even have a job. You have no money, you’re borrowing money – people are just upset with your actions. You have to look around and really assess that.
Number two, you have to understand there’s a higher power – and you have to turn your will and your life over to that higher power, it doesn’t have to be God. It can be nature, it can be anything else but you have to turn your will and your life over to a higher power, because we can’t do this alone.
Our will is what got us in this trouble in the first place so you have to turn your will over to the care of God as you understand them – that is the first three steps of AA, and that is the first three steps of basically any 12 STEP program.
So I really suggest you look into the 12 step program. I’ll also leave a link to therapy that you can get online right now if you really need to talk to someone about your addictions or your alcoholism.
And this is my video on the demon alcohol, it is real. The disease is progressive, it will keep growing whether you are drunk or not, it doesn’t matter if you have five to 10 years of sobriety. You can impulsively pick up a drink and relapse and never come back. You can die or go to prison, or go insane. Those are your only three options if you keep drugging and drinking.
So I highly recommend that today is your last day. I know I’ve relapsed hundreds of times and finally I knew in my gut, I was done. It was my last day.
In fact, the last time I got sober, I just stayed home and I nursed my health back and got two jobs, and finally left that town, because you have to get rid of any reminders, any triggers that remind you of alcohol and your addiction, you have to cut ties with all of that, you really have to do this because it’s life or death.
Okay, I love you guys, You will survive, you will make it. And I know you feel like crap right now and you might be hung over. It’s okay to start drinking some shakes, get some nutrients back in your body, go to the gym, start working out.
Get those endorphins going, those naturally feel good endorphins, you can do that with exercise, you can do that by reading a good book. You can do that by eating chocolate. Just don’t go back to the drugs and the alcohol, and everything will be better. One day at a time, guys. Thy will be done, not your will. Okay, We’ll talk to you soon. Hang in there.
Erik C Johnson