Alcohol and Autism

I am going to talk about how to quit alcohol and this is a controversial way that worked for me. This article is for educational purposes only, it might not work for you. Consult a doctor if you are a serious drinker because you can die from going cold turkey you know just stopping abruptly. 

Alcohol and Autism – A Controversial Way to Quit Drinking

So definitely just do your own research before you take any advice from this article, this is just my experience. 

So I want to dive right into it and talk about what worked for me because I was a very serious alcoholic and when I mean serious, I mean there was only one thing preventing me from being completely homeless and that was living in a converted school bus. 

My rent was only $150 a month so I could whittle out that money and stay there. 

I usually worked in restaurants so I could get free food there. So my bills were literally nothing. I was hanging out with homeless people, and at the end of my drinking, I wasn’t eating food anymore.

I was literally getting drunk twice a day. Most people are like, how do you get drunk twice a day? Well, you wake up in the morning and you start drinking and you pass out before noon. 

Then you wake up again and drink and then pass out around dinner. And then you drink until midnight, pass out and then at 4am you wake up to have a beer in the middle of the night because you are trembling and you can’t sleep. 

That is how my life was for me daily.

I wasn’t trimming my nails. I wasn’t showering because my legs were basically atrophying to the point where I could barely walk because I just sat on a bed all day, rocking back and forth in a dark room. 

I had a very short temper and didn’t want to be bothered by anyone. You know, my brain chemistry was so low on dopamine that I couldn’t even listen to jazz music anymore, and that is one of my favorite things to do while rocking back and forth. 

So yeah, at the very end, I was crying every other day and I had an imaginary friend who I called Mrs. Bumble. She was a giant Bumblebee with big eyes. 

She would peek out at me from the closet. That’s how pathetic my life was. I mean, I had to invent friends. 

My girlfriend at that time was just enabling me. She would bring home six packs and we were fighting every other night. Really bad like she had to go to jail one night because she beat me up and and you know, just crazy, crazy, stupid, insane stuff. 

Alcohol and Autism – The Dead End

So if you’re an alcoholic, if you truly think that you’re an alcoholic, and you can’t stop, there’s only three options for you if you keep drinking, and that is either prison, Insanity or death. 

I know that for a fact now, I used to hear that in AA meetings when I was younger, and I was like, yeah, they’re being so dramatic. You know, I don’t know about that. 

But I went back out and I kept drinking. And it’s true. It gets worse every time you go back out and drink. Eminem has a line in one of his songs where he says you know these demons keep doing jumping jacks while I’m sober or whatever, you know, like, demons are like getting stronger, whether you’re drinking or not. 

I mean, there’s no way to just get sober and you’ll have an easy life. I mean, there’s going to have to be some work involved and that might piss you off. 

But here’s the thing. It is a sacrifice. All right, getting sober is a sacrifice. You are going to have to feel some emotions that you have suppressed. You are going to have to get rid of some old friends. 

How I Controversially Quit Alcohol and Drugs as an Aspie

I am gonna just dive into my story and hopefully this helps you. Share this around because many people need to hear this and it is a controversial way. 

But I’ve been sober for almost 10 years. So it does work. And the way that I got sober is the controversial part. So I’m gonna just tell you what I did. 

I’ve tried quitting alcohol over 100 times. You know, I was a heavy drinker for 16 years. We’re talking about getting blacked out every night. 

In fact, I made it a game. I was like, Can I remember what I did last night? Let’s see how far I can drink until the memory stops working. And I would play around with it every single day. 

Am I going to remember talking to this person at the bar at 7pm? Am I going to remember talking to them at 10pm? Then I would compare my notes in the morning and I always forgot half the night at least. 

So I quit many times. I had varying degrees of sobriety, you know, I could go six months without drinking, nine months. I went 12. I got my one year coin from AA once and I went 20 months and then I went almost two years. 

I’d always relapse. And let me just tell you that relapse is part of recovery. There’s not many people that just quit and they never relapse again. 

So don’t beat yourself up too much. Now do not use relapse as an excuse. Don’t be like, well, Erik said relapse is part of recovery. 

No, this is if you accidentally drink and you are really upset. It’s part of the recovery. You are trying. The fact that you are so upset that you drink again is a sign that you are changing and that you really do want to improve your life. 

The average relapse rate is like seven to 15 times. But keep in mind if you go back out and drink it could be your life. Just remember, you have to treat this like life or death literally. 

I don’t care if you’re only 22 years old and you might have a couple extra beers and you might get a little more buzzed than you should. You know that’s fine and dandy, but guess what, it’s going to get worse. If you’re an alcoholic it is going to get worse. 

So you know I did have varying degrees of success with sobriety but I always went back out. 

And the reason why I went back out was I did not replace drinking with enough activities. That’s just one aspect. Okay. 

How drunk I got Every Night

The Moment I Hit Rock Bottom. . .

So, here is what happened when I finally got sober. Things were so bad. This is like 2008, I already had a heart attack, a couple DUIs, nearly homeless life shambles, you know, drinking and driving, you know, 100 empty beer cans behind my driver’s seat. 

Car stunk like old beer. Pathetic, pathetic, drinking in the morning. I’m only working two days a week and I’m drinking at my job. Just really bad. Really, really bad. 

So here’s what happened. . .

I woke up one day and you know, I’m trembling with alcohol withdrawals. And this guy came over to see my girlfriend and she wasn’t home. She went to work. It was like 8am.

So he must have been up all night. And he’s a skateboard punk guy, and a lot younger than me. 10 years younger maybe, and he was annoying. 

And I was laying in bed trembling, and I slept in the nude so I couldn’t do anything. I just laid there and watched him and he came into my room. 

He picked up this ukulele in the corner of the room that was like my girlfriend’s son’s guitar and he picked it up and started playing songs about me and making up funny songs about me.

Just really irritating me to the point where I’m like, Dude, get the f out of here. He wouldn’t listen to me. And I’m completely defenseless and shaking, you know? 

I’m like 36 years old, and this 25 year old is making fun of me and I can’t do anything about it. So that was my turning point. 

I mean, out of all the things that could have stopped me, you know, the heart attack, and people telling me I’m gonna die within a year. None of that mattered to me. 

What mattered was this: This kid basically shamed me. I mean, and I felt so defenseless. I was like, this is ridiculous. I am done. 

So what happened was there’s two beers left in the fridge. I’m staying with my girlfriend. She has a house. She’s got a full time job. She pays the rent. I don’t pay anything. I’m just a loser drinking beer that she brings home. 

So at that moment, when I said I’m done, I knew it. Like there’s this different feeling in your heart when you know you are truly done. Alright, it was like I’m done. 

When you want it bad enough, it will overpower any addiction. All right. I mean, if you really have that feeling, it’s like a moment of clarity from God. God’s like you’re done. 

It was like that. It was like a boom. And I grabbed the last two beers in the fridge, put them in my backpack, and walked back to my school bus. 

Now at that moment, this is where it gets dangerous. So really you have to know, if you drink really heavily, you can’t just quit cold turkey. You need medically supervised rehab because you can die from alcohol withdrawal. 

So let me just say that. This is for educational purposes only and I’m really serious about this. 

I sipped on those two beers, and I think that’s what saved my life. Because if I had quit cold turkey, I probably could have died. 

Plus God wanted me alive, because he wanted me to share the word about this. But I nursed on those two beers, and then I slept for like 14 hours. 

And in the morning, I slowly started to repair my health. I could barely hold down food. I think I had yogurt. Maybe I got a smoothie. And I just slowly got my strength back and I knew I couldn’t see her anymore. 

She was my girlfriend at the time. So she’d come over and knock on the door and I’d say you know, I just need to be alone for a while. And I kept telling her that for like a month and then she finally got the hint that we probably weren’t gonna get back together. 

Alcohol and Autism – Getting Rid of the Past

So that’s the first real tip is that you have to get rid of people, places and things that remind you of alcohol, all the little triggers you know, you can’t hold on to old friends. 

You really have to believe that this is life or death. You have to remember that. I knew that we were over. 

And my other couple of friends that I drank with –  the homeless people I drank with tried coming over and I was like I’m just not drinking today. And I said that enough to where they got the idea. And they left me alone. 

But you have to get rid of all your old friends even if they don’t pressure you to drink. Eventually they will creep it in somewhere they’ll sneak it in. 

They might leave you alone for a couple months. But then they’ll come over and they’ll be like hey, let’s go out to dinner. Then they’ll order a wine or a beer. And it’ll be tempting. They will sneak it in if they drink, they will say something or they will try to invite you out or they’ll bring something over. 

They might leave it in the car until you say yeah, I might drink. Then they’ll be like okay, well I’ll go get it. I got a twelve pack in the car. They’ll sneak it in somewhere. 

You have to get rid of those friends, any friend, every friend. It’s going to be a lonely road. 

Now you can go to AA at this point, and do 90 meetings in 90 days. You have to get it really inside every cell of your body. You have to make new friends. 

It’s okay to be alone in the beginning but eventually if you’re lonely don’t go back to your old friends. You have to make new friends. Bottom line: get a sponsor from AA. Alright, but I did this without AA this time.

I just stayed home and I was lonely. And I literally went to a supermarket and went to the toy section and there is a pink big eyed turtle you know stuffed animal staring at me. I grabbed it. 

Here’s Kirby

I still have him. His name is Kirby. So I’m literally to the point where I’m just working. I got a second job. 

So I drive to work and work my double and I come home at night. And the thing that kept me going is that now I’m still smoking cigarettes and I’m still watching porn, okay? I’m lonely. 

You know, I’ll be honest, I’m smoking cigarettes. I’m watching porn, and I grab some m&ms after work and go home and eat the m&ms. 

Now alcohol is mostly sugar. So my substitute. This is the controversial part is I basically replaced alcohol with m&ms, cigarettes and porn. All right. 

I did that for about two years. My old friends were gone at this point. All right, and the ex girlfriend tried coming over a couple more times. And I was just like, No, I’m sober. 

Then I eventually met a girl that didn’t drink, believe it or not, and she was an energy healer, spiritual worker. I was still smoking cigarettes with her and eating m&ms. 

She didn’t like the smell of smoke. And so I was like, I’ll try to quit. I stopped smoking cigarettes and my go to at that point was now in m&ms and drinking tea and going to the gym. 

I love racquetball because I’m autistic. I like chasing a ball like a dog. All right, and keeps my mind off of things and it’s fast. It’s adrenaline. You know, I frickin love racquet sports. I like watching MMA. I like boxing. 

So I basically replaced alcohol and cigarettes with m&ms and working out and it was very hard at first. 

Over the years, I’ve whittled away those addictions. Now the controversial part is that I replaced alcohol with candy and cigarettes and porn. Then I slowly got rid of the porn. I got rid of the cigarettes. 

Then after a while I was like, I don’t even want sugar. The sugar is tweaking me out. I get nervous on it. I get anxiety. My girlfriend turned me on to stevia. Now I’m using stevia in my coffee and staying away from candy. 

Go to the gym. If you work out and then you go into a sauna, if you have a sauna or a hot tub. You work out really hard cardio, ideally and then weights, and you get that excess energy out. 

That’s what really drives us to drink. It’s that nervous extra energy. I’ve always been hyperactive. Alright, it’s but if you go for a good jog or you know, there’s a thing called joggers high where if you jog, you feel this dopamine rush. 

You know after your jog, then if you can hit the hot tub or a sauna after that. 

Stay hydrated if you do the sauna and don’t go in longer than 20 minutes if you’re not used to it. You know you’ll have to do your own research on all this stuff, but just don’t go crazy. 

When you come out of the sauna, you will feel so relaxed. It will be your new drug I promise you. All right. And if you’ve never worked out before, just start really slow. 

Get a trainer if you can afford it or watch YouTube videos. You can even work out at home, but there’s nothing better than a hot bath or sauna after your workout. 

You can eventually replace these things but here’s the thing you can never go back to your old friends. And after being with this new girlfriend and quitting, you know the cigarettes and stuff, we moved out of that town. 

So I got rid of the friends and I got rid of all the old triggers. I didn’t go to these grocery stores where I used to buy beer. I didn’t go to places where I used to drink and if you’re an alcoholic like I was I was literally the town drunk. 

Every place triggered me because I drank everywhere. I drank at every place in that small town. So we moved. We moved literally across America. All right. We started in Washington State and moved to frickin Texas. 

I still don’t have friends. Okay, I have some online friends. You guys are my friends. That’s why I love your comments. All right. So leave a comment under this video. Are you drinking still? Do you really want to quit? That’s the question: Is it time? 

Are you ready to finally quit because you are going to have to get rid of old friends, people and places and things that remind you of your alcohol or your drugs. You can apply this to any drug. 

So the controversial thing is I replaced those things with healthier things. Then I got rid of the things that were less healthy than the healthiest things. 

So now, you know I might have an apple fritter once in a while. I’m fasting more than ever, and really getting into my spiritual work. 

I still rock back and forth. You know if you look at my older videos, I still can see I’m trying to quit rocking that, you know, I still have rocking. I’m not completely addiction free or stim free. But I’m working on it. 

That’s the thing is you whittle away at all your addictions until you’re happy until your content sitting still. If you rock back and forth or you are stimming, if you’re only doing it an hour a day and it’s not getting in the way of anything, then that’s fine but I rock 14 hours a day, you know, so that’s obviously getting in the way of my life and I’m working on it. 

But I got rid of the porn. I got rid of the cigarettes, I got rid of the alcohol, I got rid of any other drugs. I got rid of the toxic relationships. And you can do it if I did it. I mean, I was the town drunk. 

Like I said I was drinking 24/7. I was not afraid to crack open a beer at 4am or 8am or even at my jobs. You know, I worked in the restaurant business so I could have as much beer as I wanted. I would hide it. 

The thing is, you got to get rid of everything and start over. Ultimately, you have to treat this like it’s life or death. Because it will get worse. If you’re running from something. 

Here’s the thing, probably 80 to 90% of all addicts are running from something probably a childhood trauma. That’s my story about stopping alcohol. It’s very insidious, and it can sneak back in at a moment’s notice. 

I know people that went to AA for over 15 years, and they went to a dinner party, and they just saw a drink on the table. And they’re like, Oh, what’s that tastes like? And they took a sip and they ended 17 years of sobriety. And they never came back to AA and they probably died. 

So it is life or death. I know many people that were like, oh, yeah, well, I’ll try it again. You know, I did it. I relapsed like I said 100 times all right, some were very tiny, like I said, I was going to quit and then the next night I drank, you know tiny relapses, and then I had big ones, you know, I lost two years once.

So, that’s my story. So leave a comment. I love you guys. We can do this. I’m sorry if you’re having a hard time. I’m sorry if you’re crying a lot. You know, I’m sorry if you’re depressed, or even suicidal. 

Just hang in there one day at a time. 

If you’re really white knuckling it, it’s five minutes at a time. So after five minutes of not drinking or drugging, pat yourself on the back and say I did it. I did it. 

You need to start building those little milestones of sobriety. Start building that confidence. Say I did it. You know, I didn’t drink today, so I did it. And if you start white knuckling it, find a 12 step somewhere, you know, I am going to start helping people soon so keep an eye out on this channel. Anyway, as I rambled enough!

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