I want to talk about the three most powerful things you can do to leave a narcissistic relationship once and for all. I’ve done this, I just did a video about it, my close friend growing up had narcissism, and I still have dreams about him today, and I haven’t spoken to him for nine years.
Steps to Leave a Narcissistic Relationship
So narcissism is very insidious. Once that gets inside of you, it’s very hard to break away from that person or just their theories of life so stay till the very end because I have a bonus tip for you.
Step One – Block or Leave
So the first thing you have to do is absolutely get away from them. You have to – if they know where you live and it’s a small town, you’re going to have to uproot and leave, you’re going to have to move away.
That’s eventually what I did in this relationship, because I tried getting away from him over and over and over, but he always found me.
Because it was a small town, I didn’t have the resources or the money to move out of that town, and he just clung to me, even though I didn’t want to be friends with him.
I didn’t have enough courage to tell him to go away until I was like 36, but all throughout childhood, my teens, my 20s and my 30s I was at his whim – his every whim he could come over anytime he wanted.
He came over, even knowing that I didn’t really like him, because he didn’t have a lot of friends at one time and he was desperate. So he came over no matter what.
You have to cut all ties, and you have to either move, or find a way to block them from ever seeing you again. You just have to get them out of your life.
There is no what ifs, there is no waiting for them to turn from their ways, they will be that way forever. They feed off of it and they feed off of you and manipulate you.
That’s how they live, but they have to have attention to live that way. If you cut off all the tension all contact all communication. They will look for another victim, and you can start mending your life. So that is the most powerful step.
Step Two – Al-Anon
Look into Al Anon Now, I know this is meant for people and families that are dealing with an alcoholic, but in a way, a narcissist is kind of like an alcoholic.
Alcoholics have the same type of traits that narcissists have – they’re self centered, they’re only thinking about themselves, they’re belligerent, and sometimes they show no emotion or feelings. They have very little empathy, or compassion for others.
So if you can find a meeting for Al Anon, that would be great because it’s free, and you can find a lot of tidbits in those meetings.
You will see other people that are not only dealing with alcoholics, but they’re also dealing with narcissists.
Because they’re almost the same thing, and it’s free. You can go get a cup of coffee and sit in the back of the room and just listen to the meeting.
Step Three – Codependency Therapy
Number three is codependency therapy. Now you might think, well I’m not dependent on this narcissist.
Well, in a way you are enabling them just by you being in the presence of a narcissist you are enabling them, and that is codependency.
So I definitely recommend getting online therapy, I’ll leave a link under this video/article where you can get codependency therapy.
You can also work on your low self esteem issues or any other illnesses that you have or ailments, you know, you might be struggling with alcoholism.
One of the reasons why I couldn’t escape this narcissistic friend was I became an alcoholic, and I was always beaten down with hangovers and I was destroying my life.
And so when he did come over to chat, I let him in because I had my own issues. I was beaten down by alcoholism.
I was dependent on him. I still was waiting for his charm to come back, which never did when we got older.
So, I was actually part of the whole thing. I was codependent on him in a bizarre twisted way. So definitely look into codependency therapy and therapy for any other ailments.
The bonus tip here is there is a great book it’s number three on Amazon right now. It’s called codependent no more how to stop controlling others and start caring for yourself it’s by Melody Beatty. It’s got 2024 ratings and it’s almost a complete five stars.
So definitely download that to your Kindle. And I hope these tips help you, because getting away from a narcissist is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
Like I said earlier, I still have dreams about him. We didn’t have an intimate relationship. I’m a straight heterosexual person, but what I dream about is him basically manipulating me, or being charming or asking me to forgive him which will never happen in reality.
It’s just bizarre that I still think about him once in a while, and I haven’t seen him for nine years.
When I moved out of that town, I got away from him. I deleted his phone number. I don’t follow him on Facebook. I don’t plan on looking at his Facebook account or Twitter or any other social media, I have no idea what he’s doing.
But he’s still in my subconscious, my unconscious and comes up in dreams, and you just have to purge them out of your life.
Over time you will eventually not even think about them anymore, and you will be free.
So look into these steps and look into the training. Hit that subscribe button if you’re new here, and we’ll talk to you soon.
Erik C Johnson