So let’s talk about loneliness with Autism and how to stop it. I self diagnosed with Asperger’s last year, and it just put all the pieces of the puzzle together and it all made sense, and it gave me a lot of relief. So if you haven’t done that yet, you can always take an Asperger’s test, and see what your score is and it’s really liberating.
Stop Loneliness with Autism
But when I was a little boy, I tended to rock back and forth while looking out the window, and I was doing that when I was two years old, and I never really understood why I did it, and why I did it so young, except for maybe I was hyper, and I was highly imaginative.
My dad was strict, and maybe I just needed my own world, my own fantasy world to get into and hide from the real world because I was highly sensitive as well.
So I learned at a very young age how to play with myself. And I was shy, I was very shy in school, and one of the first experiences I had in school was very traumatic. I wet my pants in front of the classroom and the teacher was mean.
So, you know, I just didn’t think the world was safe at a very young age, I thought I was going to get mocked and ridiculed and laughed at and I didn’t feel safe around my dad, etc.
So I learned how to play with myself, but over the years, I’ve been self isolating and I’ll get into that in a minute. And, on how hard it is, and what you can do to actually get rid of loneliness with Asperger’s.
But back to my childhood, I really was happy with just riding my bike around in circles in our driveway, and then when I was 12 years old my mom bought me a drum set because I love music, and I discovered hard rock when I was 12, and got a drum set the same year.
I could just play my heart’s content. I picked up music very easily, even though I couldn’t read sheet music and I did horrible in marching band in school, I had a sense of just playing spontaneously, these really cool beats and so music was my first love. That was when I was 12 years old.
I used to rock back and forth looking out the window to, you know, Ozzy and Judas Priest and Iron Maiden and bands like that and I used to just fantasize about getting the bullies back in school and getting a girlfriend.
You know, I was very quiet and awkward in school so I never had a girlfriend, all my jock friends had girlfriends, and the stoners even had girlfriends and I can never get a girlfriend. So I was a very big dreamer, and I’m still a big dreamer today, but it gets really lonely sometimes.
When I was 17 I discovered alcohol and that was kind of like a miracle in a bottle, it made me feel free, it made me spontaneous, I had courage to talk to girls. I was actually the life of the party sometimes. But it was just an act, and I couldn’t be that way when I was sober, and eventually alcohol turned against me, and nearly killed me.
So that definitely wasn’t a good resource, and neither of my addictions were a good resource; they all just took me down. They lowered my self esteem. They made my self worth plummet, and I felt horrible after every time I used it. So that wasn’t a good resource.
By the time I was 17, I wanted to be a rock and roll drummer, that was my dream. Then when I was 18 or 19 I started to write poetry, I really liked words, even though I flunked English three times in high school, I flunked ninth grade, 10th grade, 11th grade, and then I eventually dropped out of high school.
My dad didn’t give me a full ride scholarship to the music school I wanted to, looking back, that was a blessing because I was just discovering alcohol and drugs, I would have died in Hollywood, but I still loved music and writing poetry.
When I was 20 years old I met an older woman who was actually my first girlfriend and she taught me everything about wine, art, and poetry and the beat generation writers like Jack Kerouac and Ken Kesey, and I loved abnormal psychology and the artwork from schizophrenics and I wanted to be crazy, because I had self worth issues, and I thought that if I would go insane, I wouldn’t care what people thought of me.
I didn’t want to be anything like my parents. So I did what I could to try to not be their son. But there was a lot of rage, shame, guilt and regret. I gave my dad the silent treatment from the time I was 16 to 18 and it ate me alive.
And so when I was with this older woman, I got very angry, I became an angry drunk and I scared her and she eventually kicked me out when I was four and a half years into that relationship.
I eventually got sober, and I discovered blogging in 2011 and I started writing articles, and I put all of my heart into those words that I wrote. Then I started creating videos in 2014. I really leaned towards the arts.
In fact, one of my favorite artists growing up was Gary Numan, and he’s like the spokesmodel for Asperger’s, and I used to play the song “cars” over and over.
I loved music and I loved musicians. I got into their life as much as possible. I looked up to them. Unfortunately a lot of them were negative, and destructive role models. You know I loved the hair metal bands and, and those rock and rollers used to destroy their hotel rooms and got wasted.
My role models were pretty negative, but when I got sober. I started blogging and doing YouTube, and I put all of my focus into creativity and that seemed to get rid of the loneliness. I also started creating networks where other people with similar interests can connect with me.
So if you want to get rid of loneliness and you have a gift, let me just say that you have a natural gift if you have Asperger’s, you are naturally talented somewhere in your life, you probably have an interest in something and you laser focus on it with all your heart.
I recommend that you focus on that and get into the creative, the creative process and really just dissect it and look at what you do, and write down your thoughts, start a journal, start a video journal, create a Facebook fan page for Asperger’s or whatever your gift is.
If you like collecting stamps create a collecting stamp YouTube channel, start talking about your stamps, create a fan page for your stamps, just really dive into that, and that will really help your loneliness because people with Asperger’s, we’re never going to be comfortable in social situations.
When people start talking about gossip or just redundant, day-to-day stuff, like how’s the weather and all that stuff, it’s really boring. You do not have to fit in with the rest of the people. You create your own world, it’s okay, it’s okay to laser focus on your genius, and your creativity.
So whenever I felt lonely I blogged, I created videos and after a year or two, I created a lot of content. Then I started to get into affiliate marketing, and I would promote links to other products under my videos and in my blog articles, and I started making money.
Then pretty soon I was able to work from home full time, and that was beautiful because then I could just explore my thoughts, my creativity. I could do as many articles I wanted, and I started making money doing what I loved.
So, if you want to get out of loneliness, you should look into being creative, tap into your genius, laser focus on one thing and then create content around it, and it’s going to be hard in the beginning. I was very nervous doing videos but you know, I deleted the first 100 videos I did.
Eventually I got good at it, people with Asperger’s tend to be very, they’re perfectionists. Okay, and that can be a good thing, you can really hone in on your craft and get really good at it. Just know that if you’re creating content, it’s going to take hundreds of pieces. It’s going to take hundreds of videos for your channel to take off. It’s going to take hundreds of articles for your blog to take off.
So you have to love what you’re doing and there’s going to be hard days. I suggest brainstorming the night before, write down titles, you know I love creating titles, my fiance calls me the title man because I can create titles all day long, and that’s probably from my poetry days where I used to just love words. I used to play on words and I loved titles.
So start small and don’t think that it’s going to create you millions of dollars overnight. The bottom line is that you find people with similar interests, and believe me there’s 1000s of people that love doing exactly what you do. So if you’re lonely, create a fan page, create a Blog, create a YouTube channel, and just peck away at it.Learn how to blog, there’s plenty of articles on how to create a YouTube channel or a blog on Google just search for it.
The last thing I want to talk about are a couple movies that really are kind of fun to watch because they spotlight people with genius, and the first one is Good Will Hunting, that’s with Robin Williams and Matt Damon. Matt Damon is a math genius and he eventually escapes his small town and his mundane friends by tapping into his genius and actually going to an Ivy League school, I believe that’s what he did.
Really exciting, you know, what we can do with our genius if we focus on it. And when you’re focused on it, you won’t even think about your loneliness anymore. The other movie is called pi, like the math formula. And that is a very good movie, it’s kind of dark, and a little shocking but you can see that that man was possessed by numbers and figuring out the golden rule or whatever the math, one of the hardest math problems in the world.
He was trying to figure it out eventually. Well I don’t want to give the movie away but it was really interesting how he saw numbers everywhere in his life – the golden spiral. He saw that in his coffee cup and in the newspaper and in the stock market.
So when you laser focus on what you want, you will start to see it everywhere, and start journaling about it and start doing little videos about it. The more you do it, the more you focus on these ideas the bigger they grow. When you water something, it will grow.
So every day if you’re thinking about your gift, collecting stamps or creating Styrofoam art, you’re going to start to see stuff like that around you, and it’s going to just grow your genius more and more, and you won’t even think about being lonely anymore.
In fact, right now I’m lonely. I mean, I’m home alone. It’s normal. I’m used to it. And some days it gets to me. You know I’ve been sober since 2008 and I haven’t made any new friends. It’s just me and my fiance and I don’t want new friends, but I do want friends that have Asperger’s and they’re creative and they need help.
That’s why I’m doing these videos to help others find a path, tap into their genius, tap into their creativity because life is worth it, especially for those who are suicidal or they don’t know why they’re alive.
What is your favorite hobby? Even if you love watching TV you can monetize that. You can do you can do videos about your favorite TV show, and just talk about it for 10 minutes a day, and that will eventually grow, and then you’ll get people that follow you that love the same TV show that you do, believe me, you can make money by watching TV, you can make money by sleeping, you can make money by stimming or rocking back and forth, or getting sober, you can help other addicts and alcoholics or whatever your addictions are or were.
I want to help people that were alcoholic. I want to help people that rocked back and forth like I did. So focus on what you already know, and the creativity will be easy because you already know about it. So write about what you know, talk about what you know and that will grow and grow and then pretty soon people are going to follow you and they’re going to ask you questions.
And that will give you even more ideas to create content because they’re asking you questions like how did he do this, how did he do that. And then it just grows and grows. If you build it they will come. It might take six months, it might take a year, keep creating every single day, and eventually people will come around and you will love talking to them, and you’ll be blown away that they love exactly what you do. So I hope this helps. Like and subscribe and we will talk to you soon.
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Erik C Johnson